then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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