Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
