Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
