after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize