so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
