i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
