i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
