We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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