Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
