So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
