Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
