Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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