I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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