Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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