You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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