I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
