This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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