Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
A bitchslap is in order.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
