We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
