What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
