My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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