I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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