Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize