I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
