Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
