Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
