i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
