even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
