THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
