once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
