I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
