i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
