I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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