My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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