Dual....:-)
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
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