I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
