oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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