I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
