I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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