it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
