sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
