dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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