i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I wish I only lived at night.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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