okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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