I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
