what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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