I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
