Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
