3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
you traded sex for a burrito?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
