i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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