Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Vodka?
Forever.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
