Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
