I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
