I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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