Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
