I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
