I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
