is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
