Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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