As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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