New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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