not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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