why didn't you poke me back
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
