East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
